


Kaneki gets meme'd on

by Juuzou



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: i cant do serious things im sorry, i wrote this at like 2 am, im so sorry, this isnt serious either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:26:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2012667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juuzou/pseuds/Juuzou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ken Kaneki, your average college student, has just gotten back from a date with his love interest, Rize Kamishiro. But it doesn't take long for him to realize something's wrong. Which he realized when she suddenly decided to take a bite out of his shoulder. WIll Kaneki be able to escape the ghoul, or will he ultimately get meme'd on? Hardcore? Or maybe...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kaneki gets meme'd on

**Author's Note:**

> i was trying to right a yukiteru akise fluff thing but then i fell asleep and never continued it but i might sometime idk  
> and now i wrote this this is probably the only type of thing i will write why me  
> comment as of 9/26/15: i cant believe i wrote this

A train or something went by as the two stared into each other's eyes dramatically. It was obviously one of those love confession moments, right?  
Ghouls don't even exist in this anime. What's a ghoul? They eat people? That's just hecked up. What the?

  
Anyways, the two stood there looking at each other until the lady, Kamishiro Rize, finally broke the silence.

  
"Kaneki-san..."

  
Kaneki didn't say anything. He was probably paying too much attention to her breasts.

  
"Um, Kaneki-san?"

  
He blinked, a blush lining his lame childish face as he realized how weird he was being.  
"Y-yes?"

  
"The truth is, I noticed the booty. I mean, how you were looking at me... you have a very fine booty, Kaneki-san..."  
She weirdly leaned her face into his chest, smiling a bit. Kaneki simply remained where he was, blushing slightly.

  
"Huh? Then, you mean, you too..." he wanted to say fly booty after that, but he thought it was ridiculous to use the term fly. I mean, what if she thought he was talking about a real fly? Would she be disgusted and not be interested in him anymore? That'd be a nightmare!

  
"Yes, I too... happened to be interested........ in you."

  
He gasped. He had such a happy expression on his face, like "oh my god!! she likes me!!! im gonna be the protag of a shojo anime!!" but nah. Wake up, Kaneki. This anime has creatures that eat human flesh for a living, hate human food, and can only drink coffee.

Why coffee? Of all things, coffee? Obviously this is not shojo. Get your genres right, noob.

So anyways, this weird red smokey stuff started flowing around and a creepy red pointy OTHER thing got very close to his eye.  
That made him uncomfortable. Weren't these kinda things only on the news and in his Creepypasta's he read...?

  
Kamishiro laughed, then bit in to his shoulder. Ow.

  
Kaneki no longer had a happy expression.

  
No, it was far from it. It was a face of despair, agony, and betrayal.  
Just imagine the face of Shinji Ikari when.. [spoilers. idk]

Blood dripped down the girl, or /ghoul/'s lips as she smirked. Kaneki could only gasp in pain and drop his bags, haha oops might wanna pick that up later man.  
"Ah, delicious!"

  
blood spilled everywhere. Okay, maybe you should just fall on the bags and make a distressed sound. Great plan

  
She walked towards him, ridding of her coat. She's getting super hardcore right now tbh.

  
"I came out here to have a good time, and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now" Said Kaneki as he clutched his bleeding shoulder, staring up at Kamishiro Rize in pure horror.  
"Shut up" said Kamishiro. "You don't even have 20 followers on /anything/, do you?"

  
Kaneki looked away. Well, that was true, but...  
"Kaneki-san. There's something I like even more than your rather fly booty. Want to know what that is?"

  
Oh heck, Kaneki thought. So she does know that term.

  
"It's pulling out all the organs out of someone who isn't trying to run away from me, after rickrolling them. But I didn't manage to rickroll you. How disappointing! I wanted to be able to see even more fear on your tasty, cute looking face."

  
"Nevertheless, that expression, it's fantastic! Did you buy it on e-bay?"

She laughed at her own joke, then continued. "Would you let me... thrill myself anymore?!" As she leaned in, suddenly her eyes turned a black color and her kagune was finally revealed. It was a Rinkaku type.

  
Her hysterical laughter was obviously now too much for Kaneki to handle, and so he got up and began to run.  
"G..gotta go fast!" he gasped through clenched teeth. Maybe singing the Sonic X theme song would inspire him to run a bit faster?

  
But soon he was repeating 'no way' a lot, since he didn't seem to be going any faster. He decided to replace what he was saying because he didn't want to be remembered for Sonic the Hedgehog. But on the other hand, that would be kinda cool...

  
A claw grabbed him, and he was dragged back to the purple-haired ghoul as her laughter continued.

  
She lifted him up for a moment. "Caught you!" She said, then literally slammed him into a building like she was a teenager angry about something and punching holes in a wall.  
But she was anything but angry.  
In fact, Kamishiro-san was excited as ever. She was gonna get the foods. Mmm.mMM.

Kaneki got up, muttering a bit and holding the upper half of his arm. He turned his head in horror as the called his name rather intimidatingly, appearing out of the smoke.

  
"Oh my god," he whispered to himself, "This is just like one of those horror movies, and I'm the guy who dies right off the bat, aren't I?"

  
Suddenly she had him again, the prey finding itself caught once again. Her Rinkaku wrapped itself around the boy's torso and arm easily, even as he desperately struggled for escape.

  
Free him......

  
Another claw positioned itself, and she expertly stabbed him in some sort of abdomen area probably I guess.  
Blood gushed out of the backside of Kaneki, and he yelped in pain. The only thoughts on his mind were really "Now I'm not going to get to see that one anime that's airing soon... no..." and of course "I don't want to die!".

  
Mostly the first thing, though.

  
"You've been struck by, you've been hit by....... a smooth criminal," Kamishiro said, continuing to laugh.

This was so much fun. She also knew this guy had sent anonymous hate to her, since she had that fancy anon revealer on tumblr, and she checked out his blog for a while. All he posted was selfies, so that's probably why he barely had any followers....

  
Plus, he seemed like a tasty snack.

He vomited blood, staggering backwards and sliding down against a wall in defeat.

  
"I'm going to gently meme on your insides now, okay" She said in a mocking voice.  
"...Uh-oh, did you die? I guess I was 2 strong 4 game. That's too bad. I really did like you."

  
"There's just the right amount of fat on you... you look nice and soft, and ready to eat. That's probably what McDonalds feels like to you humans, but I wouldn't know!"  
She obviously didn't notice the ropes being cut.

  
The heavy load (haha) tumbled down upon her, crushing her with in seconds.  
"How... could.. this..." she croaked from under the pile. u kno she dead

  
jokes on kamishiro rize. dont be a loser if you get memed on!!!!!


End file.
